NL1: Esher vs. Northampton Saints: Match Preview
By Phil
February 13 2008
Northampton Saints travel to the leafy suburbs of 'Ersham to take on mid-table National League One side Esher. In the corresponding fixture at the Gardens in October, saints ran out convincing winners 74-10. So, what can we expect this weekend? Phil looks ahead...
ESHER vs. NORTHAMPTON SAINTS
NL1 – SATURDAY 16th FEBRUARY, 2008 – 3pm
MATCH PREVIEW
Yeah verily, for ‘tis true, the Saints did march on last weekendingtide defeating the mighty foe of the Knights of Doncaster and their foul Bishop of the Just. And they didst smite their foes with much furious anger as they unleashed the bane of the League that is Number One in England who shall henceforth be known as the “The Ghost”. And it came to pass that the one labelled ‘Snake Charmer’ by St Rich was martyred. After the smiting, those hoping to hear the proclamations of “we wuz robbed” from the Bishop were left distraught as he deigned not to talk to the waiting scribes (ye olde pigeons at the ready). A mole of African origin in the vicinity of the home changing room didst say “I understand that the Bishop is busy performing the miracle of removing the skid marks from his disciples under crackers, and what a great miracle it is, for the marks are great, although his tears of hurt seems to be doing the trick.”
And the Saints didst march south, stopping briefly at the citadel that is Franklin’s Gardens of the Pleasure to refresh the horses, and then onwards through the green swathes of this land until they reachéd the site of their next battle. To Ershamton and the massed ranks of Esher.
And they found that the villagers of that quaint parish were surprisingly chippy. Lord Inver of the Dale didst pronounce, “We are not afeared!
“Our pack willst stand strong against the Northampton brutes and it willst be here that our advantage shallst be gained. And we shall stand tall and shallst deny the Noble Spencer the ball and he shall fail to weave his sorcery. And if we are most lucky we shallst not get stuffed by more than 60.
“For it is written in the book of Cyril that it is unjust to try and make remedy for our shortcomings and use the Saintly Papal Parachute as a feeble excuse. For when the Saintly backs run riot after 50 minutes and our gallant foot soldiers grow weary from their toil and chase the shadows of black, green and gold, past, present and future, we shallst continue to play rugbye and give of our best. We may be as sick as a parakeet but we shallst remain proud”
And the world listened to the Lord Inver of the Dale and his word was good.
And so the disciples of the Lord Mallinder and Lady Doreen prepared to sally forth wearing their favours on their sleeves. Much spirit would be partaken and much hollering would ensue as battle commenced and though the journey to Ershamtonshire wouldst be arduous, the faithful were prepared.
Travelling from afar, by motor carriage of varying size, flying bird and ass, they would girdst their loins and with hearty bellows urge their team to great exploit. In the battle itself, the Lords Knight and Burridge shallst be shouting “try!” more often then Jonathan Davies doest cry “numbers!” and Saints shallst emerge triumphant.
And the Lord Mallinder shallst bring home his spent charges to great exultation with the five points safely clutched close to the Lady Doreen’s bosom and Saints willst be one step closer to The Promised Land.
And all shallst be well.
Thou donst well, Mav my boy, and thy rewarde shall be to slurp the nectar of Guinness amidst Saintly hordes after the joust...
Saint til I die
Forget not the mighty battle of the veterans, as a curtain raiser to the main event. There'll be a lot of smiting going on...
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"Your days are numbered. Use them to throw open the windows of your soul to the sun. If you do not, the sun will soon set, and you with it."
-- Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor 161-180 A.D.
The worthiness comes not upon us!
For sooth! The lord Al and I have been taken of great mirth. Tears do runneth from our eyes and our loins do ache from the hilarity which emitted from such writings.
In other words, "The flippin best preview I've read in the longest of time - humble congrats, Phil. That was absolutely cracking - and we really did have to wipe the tears from our eyes as we read it!"
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Saint til I die
Saint til I die
Okay. Enough of this - back to Mav's most excellent match preview.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2008:02:14:00:25:28 by Flinstone Saint.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2008:02:14:08:18:11 by St.Rich Joe, Niamh and Sam's Dad.
So its probably good.
.
Well done Mav.
Once a scrum half .... always a scrum half
Terrace 'B' next to Mav, Shaddo, AB, Jeremy and Spud.
That's not a criticism by the way.
Saint til I die
Quote:Shen wrote...
"What's interesting about this one is that everyone has enjoyed it so much despite the fact that it doesn't actually tell us anything at all about the weekend's game!"
Absolutely Si, but in the absence of anyone willing to spend an hour cobblin' something coherent together, this is what you get when an Ed has to step in and rustle up summat that might pass (on not too close an inspection) for a preview.
btw. thanks for the kind comments about my off-the-cuff scribblings, ladies and gentlepeeps, tis appreciated. :-)
"It's not the despair, Saints, I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand."