Tis The Season to be Blue Collar

It's Census time ...
By T
December 20 2007

For those of you that don’t know the history between Saracens and Quins apart from several awful Christmas games it is thus…

They were the posh city slickers out West where good players went on the promises of fancy jobs in the city and furthering their international credentials. We were hoi ploi down the road who weren’t considered good enough for a game against Harlequins 1^st XV, we played in a park in North London after all. They used to steal our best players and give us nothing in return, they were the Ebenezer Scrooge of the London Rugby Clubs believing they were better than everyone else. At least we all know what happened to Scrooge, around Christmas he had a bit of a breakdown and became very generous to everyone… Times may well have changed, we no longer play in a park, and they have tasted relegation… but why let that get in the way of a good one eyed preview?!

Blame Micky Skinner for ruffling my hair as a child, or Will ‘Bumface’ Carling refusing to sign my programme at Bramley Road maybe even Paul Akfords snipes in the media about us, perhaps even the blazer from the Quins forum who described Saracens support as a bit ‘Blue Collar’ but I do enjoy seeing Quins struggle. It’s been a nice grin on my face for the past few months then as Quins haven’t won in 7 games, their last win coming back in October the only ‘positive blip’ in a run of defeats was the dour draw against Cardiff when they really should have had the game sown up by half time. Most recently they have been beaten up both home and away by Bristol in the HC and were quite frankly laughable as they failed to cross the white wash against 13 Ospreys in the EDF. While Dean Richards has shown while he can drill a pack and turn Nick Easter into a clone of himself in his pomp he has little understanding of what those 11-15 can actually do other than the requisite visit of local Hospitals this time of year. Going so far as to mirror Northampton’s desperate move of bringing their outstanding winger into the centres “so he can get more ball” which if you follow that logic should see Strettle playing at scrum half some time soon.

But it is Christmas the time of goodwill to all man, I shall stop bitching about them and take time to think of those less fortunate. I urge you to stop what you’re doing for just one second; put down that brush for sweeping that chimney, stop the tractor ploughing those fields, and stop the machine in your factories and just spare a thought for those less fortunate. For those poor people who are charged £175 for a Limited Edition Club Shirt, for those who are forced to pay £4.50 for a cup of Winter Pimms… lets just take time to think of the poor Quins supporters. Come on Fez boys and Girls lets give them a shoulder to cry on, a chance to vent their spleens, lets just try and understand them (although the ones in the strange trousers are beyond understanding). Let’s help them through this difficult time listen to them proportioning blame like they dish out Christmas bonuses in their investment banks. Just smile and nod when they complain about a lack of a playmaker at 10, Dean Richards, their own supporters, the ref, the pack, the backs and the club. Most of all do try to feel some pity for the cash rich rugby poor Quins supporters.

When they have hit rock bottom show them there is a different way… Those of you in the cheapest seats or no doubt snuck in like the working class scallywags you all are, try and convert the Barbour coated toffs to the way of the Saracens; that of beautiful rugby, try scoring, 5 point bonus wins. Show them that it’s ok to have fun and enjoy rugby whatever the result. This Christmas do something for someone else and convert a Quin, it’s a gift, it’s easy to do and they will thank you for it in the end.

On the field last week Saracens epitomised their Blue Collar background not knowing when they were beaten, even when several scores down this side is capable of rolling up their sleeves and working hard to turn things around. Chris Jack is welcomed back and should add a bit of steel and leadership to the pack as well as a pair of safe hands at the restart. And the Christmas wrecking ball that is Census will be unleashed upon the Quins pack. The rest of the side will no doubt be looking to get things right from the off rather than giving the opposition a 40 minute chance to build a lead.

So with Saracens on a roll and Quins in a lull it should all be straightforward, even more so when you consider that everyone knows that Christmas time is the time where the upper class get their comeuppance. Bob Cratchet is the real winner in The Christmas Carol while Ebeneezer Scrooge learns a lesson, Clarence the hard working Angel is the real star of It’s a Wonderful Life and Father Christmas is clearly working a double night shift on Christmas Eve… While in the Christmas Story the three members of Royalty have nothing more than a minor walk on part ,the lead character is a simple carpenter…(no I’m not referring to Jason Leonard)

Let me leave you all with a proposal of a Charity Record we can record together to raise proceeds to help Convert a Quin at Christmas.

It's Census time
There's a need to be afraid
At Census time, we‘ll cuddle Tarquin and we’ll hug your maid
And in our team of 5 points we can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around a Quin at Census time

But say a prayer
Pray for the Wasps aswell
At Census time it's hard, when you are a Quin
There's a world outside their 4x4
And it's a world of the working class
Where all Saracens are doing is crossing the whitewash on the grass
And the 5 points that are won there are important in the league
As Sarries try to catch the team that gave us Mike Teague
So tonight thank God it's Quins in the do-do

And there won't be a win at the Stoop for Quins this Census time
The greatest gift they'll get this year is a bonus point
(Oooh) Where nothing ever tackles
the Fez boys laugh and cackle
Do they know it's Census time at all

Here's to them raise Winter Pimms for everyone
Here's to you Drinking in the Inn called the Sun
Do they know it's Census time at all

Hug a Quin Let them know it's Census time,

Merry Christmas Everyone… yes even you Quins.