Minority Report: A Wycombe Odyssey

By The Prof
January 16 2003

The things we say we’ll do when we’re drunk. This tale goes back to a promise made in Le Stade (Pieter de Villiers’ bar) in Paris just a few weeks ago.

I am sure you can remember or imagine the scene, Quins had just been beaten in Stade Jean Bouin and some alcohol had been taken to lessen the feeling of disappointment and drinks were bought for Stade, Caerphilly and Quins fans alike.

Wild gestures of friendship were appearing all over the bar, backs were being slapped and hands shaken, then ideas began to hazily form and promises were made. We Quins would support the other two teams we had already played in the Parker Pen competition, firstly we would support Stade Francais against our old rivals Wasps (sorry, London Wasps) in High Wycombe, and one DG even suggested we travel to Parma to support Caerphilly - this second promise is however unlikely to be fulfilled - firstly the person who suggested it had, moments before, just fallen through an open door in ‘Del Boy-esque’ style and secondly that weekend we are due to be watching the Ladies play against Weston Super Mare at Twickenham Rugby Club – hmmm, Hampton or Italy, I wonder if we made the correct decision.

So that is why a few of us found ourselves getting up early on a Sunday to travel up to Buckinghamshire to support Stade. Two of the travelling Quins, Little Sharon and my good self, were lucky enough to be able to take up the invitation to travel up there on the Stade supporters’ coach which was picking them up at Waterloo.

A score of Stade fans arrived on time on EuroStar and we met with them, many a cheek was kissed and hand shaken before we headed off to the ‘Golden Boy’ coach. As we boarded there was an exclamation of "What the bloody hell are you Quins fans doing on this coach?" – it transpired that the driver was a Sarries fan.

We all got settled and a couple of cans and a hipflask of vodka were cracked open – although the French didn’t seem to understand this tradition of early morning drinking on away trip days.

Then there was an odd conversation: "Can we see the Queen?", "Not from here, no", "But can we go and see her?", "Do you have an invitation?", "No, can we go to Buckingham Palace?", "Oh right, no you can't, you have to have to ask for permission a week in advance to take a coach near Buckingham Palace", "Oh" -pout-, "but we can take you on a quick tour round London", "Oui, tres bien". So the bus driver was spoken to and he took us on a short tour of Tower Bridge, The Tower of London, The Embankment, Parliament Square & Big Ben (no Little Sharon not Mr Cohen), Westminster Abbey, Apsley House, Hyde Park and a few other sites. Then we left London headed through suburbia to the M40.

The trip was relatively painless and although parking in High Wycombe is famously terrible coaches can park right next to Adams Park. But be warned, if you are travelling up by car either arrive very early or use one of the park and ride services they provide – there is also a free bus service from the railway station.

Getting off the coach we had a bit of banter from some of the Wasps fans – “What are you doing here?” being the wittiest (by the way the French were pronouncing it Wops which could have led to some trouble but thankfully there was none). We wandered over to the ground to see where we could buy tickets, then Roland came over with a fistful of tickets saying “How many would you like?”, “erm five please” came the reply and five free tickets were handed over – many thanks to the Stade management who provided the tickets.

Then we went to a small bar (The Centre Spot) on the car park side of the ground where we met up with a few of the other travelling Quins fans. It is a pleasant enough bar and since it was at ground level it was easy for our wheelies (Lex & RobShew) to get into, completely unlike Wasps’ old venue, Loftus Road which was a nightmare. The beer in the bar was IPA which was alright. The bar was crowded so it took a fair time to get served – longer than it does in our East Stand bar before a game, although the fact we were wearing Quins colours may have had something to do with this.

Shortly before the game we left the bar to find our seats, the Centre Spot Bar doesn’t lead into the ground so we had to go outside and find the correct turnstile. Our seats were in the left hand corner as we looked at the ground but the tickets informed us that we had to enter through turnstiles at the opposite end of the ground for some strange reason. We started to walk towards the entrance but then noticed that there was a 30m queue to go in, so warning number two – leave the bar a long time before kick off time otherwise you might miss the start.

The turnstiles themselves were a bit of a problem too, they were obviously designed for the average football fan’s physique rather than the ex-prop physique which is more common amongst rugby fans, so squeezing through them wasn’t a pleasant experience.

The first surprise on entering the ground was the pitch, this brand new, undersoil heated desso pitch was covered in frost.

The seats we had were near the front on about the 5m line. There was a walkway in front of the stand which was about half the size of the path in front of our East Stand, the front seats were raised about four foot above ground level so people going to get a drink or going to the toilets didn’t block anyone’s view, which was nice. One problem with the seats that was discovered by one of the female members of the Stade management was that when you jump up in excitement the seat folds up so when you go to sit down you will end up sitting on the ground unless you put your seat down first! The wheelies and their helpers (Viks & Sally) were on the opposite side of the ground and both reported that they were happy with the facilities, although there was a complaint from the helpers because the lights were broken in the ladies toilets which made things a tad tricky.

The game itself was televised and has been reported elsewhere so I wont say anything about it apart from Wasps played well to defeat Stade but they will have their work cut out to repeat the score line in Paris. One problem with the stand we were in is that whenever play went to the near touch line it was difficult to see unless it was right in front of you. This is a common problem because people will always stand to be able to see but it was worse here because the two dugouts blocked the view too.

At half time there were long queues for the food and drink stands and also for the toilets. Although it took a long time the Guinness was very nice as was the Cornish pasty. After the game we returned to the Centre Spot and chatted with Wasps and Stade fans and had an enjoyable time.

The return trip on the Stade coach to Waterloo was very enjoyable too, more vodka was passed round and then the French started pulling food and drink out of bags all over the coach. Nice red wines were offered as was paté, various types of sausage, Parma ham sandwiches, cheeses etc, it was a veritable feast. The Stade fans tried a bit of a sing song too but obviously not up to the high standards we are used to on one of Will’s coaches!

This wine and food fuelled return trip flew by and again the Stade fans were happy to see some more of London (UCL, The British Museum, Bush House, the view from Waterloo Bridge etc.)

Goodbyes were said at Waterloo and promises were made to meet up again in the future if either of our teams were in the other’s country. We travelled back to The Patch for the traditional extra few pints after an away trip and then it was off to bed to sleep the sleep of the just.

So, to sum up, many thanks indeed to the Stade Francais fans who again showed incredible generosity and hospitality and well done to Wasps for their win and for having moved to a much nicer stadium than Loftus Road.