Silk V Steel. Harlequins 15 Newcastle 7

Harlequins have over recent seasons established a reputation for stylish, running rugby played with dash and flair.  Under the tutelage of Conor O’Shea, himself a master of the deft counter attack and rapier like thrust, they have often played dazzling and entertaining rugby.  Newcastle meanwhile have too often been drawn into the slog of relegation dogfights, taking on the personality of their Director of Rugby – Dean Richards.  I remember Richards well from his playing days, socks permanently around his ankles, beetling brow, fearsome hand off as he powered off the back of another England scrum, steaming through the mud with 4 defenders hanging off him.  The men from the one time shipbuilding city have developed a spine of steel under Richards.

And so I imagined this winter’s tussle to be something like the scene from a child’s history book I once possessed, in which Richard the Lionheart meets his arch enemy Saladin shortly before their armies commence battle.  King Richard dressed in heavy chainmail armour and supported by a thousand heavily armed knights on huge horses tries to intimidate Saladin by drawing his two handed broad sword and cleaving a rock in two with a thunderous stroke.  Saladin unimpressed throws a silk scarf into the air, and with his light and deadly sharp sabre slashes the scarf into a dozen pieces before it hits the ground.

And so the scene was set at The Stoop on a bright, cold winter’s morning as the heavy cavalry came thundering out of the north to face O’Shea’s Young Turk’s and their speed and sharpness.  Newcastle had won two out of their previous 4 premiership encounters, whilst Harlequins had one only once in their previous 4 premiership outings.  To add to the trepidation of Quins fans, many of the old guard were missing.  Robshaw and Evans recovering from injuries, Marler, Easter and Care rested, and even Robshaw’s proven understudy Wallace was recovering from a broken hand.  The back row of Trayfoot, Clifford and Chisholm had an average age of 21, and Chisholm was making his first ever premiership start.

Newcastle kicked off, and the ball was collected and calmly cleared to touch by the ever reliable Karl Dickson.  Newcastle made a mess of the lineout and eventually Quins cleared downfield after a good carry from Trayfoot.  The clearance from Tim Swiel, however provided an ominous sign, as it became clear that Newcastle had brought a rapier in the form of Sinoti Sinoti to add to their heavy infantry.  He scythed past Swiel, Trayfoot and Dickson before being finally brought down by Mike Brown inside the home 22, having gained the best part of 50 metres.

After one or two more sorties, Newcastle brought out the heavy cavalry in the form of Alessandro Tuilagi. The ball was well worked to Tuilagi on the wing, and his hand off of Yarde almost put the Quins player in the North Stand, Swiel missed with a despairing lunge, but fortunately Tuilagi’s inside pass was horrible as he was shepherded towards the touchline by Dickson., and Hammersley put a foot in touch as he struggled to control the ball.

The first scrum of the day was not long in coming as both teams struggled all day with accuracy and precision.  Surprisingly it was Quins with the heavier front row, and they made the advantage tell winning a penalty against the Falcons tighthead.  Quins kicked to touch and finally had a foothold in Falcons territory.  Quins probed with a grubber kick through which was poorly cleared and gained a lineout throw on the Falcons’ 22 metre line.  The lineout was caught, the rolling maul set, a lot of sweat and grunt expended and no territory gained, but after a side to side attack, Quins gained a penalty in front of the posts for the Newcastle 5 not releasing.  Swiel slotted home nervelessly, and after 8 minutes the home side were ahead 3-0. 

From the restart  Matthews was taken out in the air and a bizarre passage of play ensued, in which Newcastle attacked, lost the ball, Quins gained 50 metres after a clever kick from Dickson, and the referee then conferred with his linesman and marched Quins back 50 metres to award the penalty for the foul on Matthews.  From the lineout Quins attacked and soon Dickson had seen a bit of space and chipped behind the defence.  A Newcastle defender seemed to trip, and as he fell, his arms unfortunately came together quite by accident and executed a perfect tackle on Dickson, who did not have the ball at the time. His misdemeanour went unpunished, The Stoop booed.  Referee Carly had become the pantomime villain for the festive period.

After this, it was largely all Newcastle.  With wave after wave of attacks being stoutly resisted by Quins defence.  A brilliant tap and go from Blair released Sinoti Sinoti, who once again danced through Quins tacklers.  Newcastle had the line at their mercy, but Tuilagi spilled a simple pop pass and the siege was relieved temporarily. Mike Brown was charged down, but the ball rolled harmlessly into touch.  Newcastle attacked again, but this time Powell was guilty of knocking on.  Shortly afterwards, some delightful interplay between Blair and Mcguigan looked to have put the hooker clear with a run to the line, but the play was called back for a forward pass. Eventually Newcastle were rewarded for their pressure after Clifford was pinged for not rolling away, and Falcons presented with a fairly straight forward penalty – which they missed!

Quins at last got back into Falcons’ territory late in the half.  Three attackers faced two Newcastle defenders, but Hopper decided to grubber through.  Blair collected the ball as it was about to cross the goal line but spilled it backwards… the referee’s whistle blew before the ball could be touched down.  Hopper was deemed to have tackled Blair high, although replays showed both players were going to ground and Hopper made contact with Blair at about 2 feet above the playing surface! 

The action continued back and forth until Quins were awarded a penalty in the Newcastle half.  They kicked for the corner…and lost the lineout!

Eventually Newcastle managed to make one of their attacks pay, when a sustained move resulted in the ball shifting to Tuilagi in midfield.  He was opposed by Mike Brown who made a brilliant attempt to dislodge the ball as Tuilagi grounded it.  After much TMO reviewing and muttering, the try was awarded – fairly in my view.  A poor half had resulted in a justifiable 7-3 lead to Newcastle.

The second half began with a much more promising series of moves from Quins.  Lambert, Clifford and Trayfoot were prominent carriers, but the teams remained locked in a stalemate. 

Newcastle once again gained the ascendancy, and gained a penalty which they kicked to the corner.  They won the lineout, but after a couple more phases, Clifford forced the isolated Catterick into holding on and the danger was cleared.

O’Shea looked to his bench and the substitutions began..  Dave Ward and Will Collier came on.  Ward made an immediate impact, combining cleverly with Clifford in a move which resulted in a half break by Hopper which forced Powell into giving away a penalty.  6-7, and the home crowd was waking from its torpor.  Ugo Monye came on to a rousing reception and within minutes had made a bone shuddering tackle which seemed to typify the new intent and energy of Quins.  After a brief foray down the wing, Ugo was stripped of the ball by Powell, who looked shocked to find the Quins 18 year old number 8 Chisholm had immediately stripped the ball back.  Quins surged forward and Dickson bought a penalty by throwing the ball at the retreating Falcons 3.  Swiel kicked, 9-7.  The Stoop was starting to come alive.

Another attack from Quins resulted in Yarde just stepping into touch inside the Falcons 22.  Tuilagi took a quick throw in a moment of madness, and as Falcons tried to run the ball clear, Trayfoot produced a great piece of back row work to win a penalty in front of the posts.  Swiel kicked precisely again and it was 12-7.

Within moments Quins had returned to the Falcons 22, and as Yarde attacked he was tackled around the neck and another penalty was given.  Yet again, Swiel stepped up and pierced Newcastle hearts with his rapier.  It was 15-7 and Swiel was 5 from 5.

The remainder of the match declined further, as some of our favourite characters demonstrated their weaknesses rather than their strengths.  Danny Care had come on and injected pace around the fringes, but now he box kicked straight to touch when the ball had been taken back into the 22.  No doubt Lancaster will have watched and noted.  Fortunately, Quins were able to clear, and Tuilagi missed the ball completely…he followed this up moments later with a comedy knock on from a routine high ball with no chasing pressure.

There was time for just one more sortie, and Falcons attacked from deep.  This time stepping and swerving they shredded the Quins defence, but as Socino was about to deliver a possible try scoring pass to Tipuna inside the Quins 22, who should pop up to intercept but the old speedster himself – Mark Lambert!

The battle ended with a whimper rather than a bang as Danny Care ran towards the touchline with the clock counting down.  Not much silkiness had been in evidence from Harlequins, and the steel of Newcastle had been blunted rather by their own granite hands and lack of precision than by any defensive wall of Harlequins. Ultimately Harlequins had won the spoils of battle on this particular day, but neither side look to have the ability to win a long campaign such as the premiership this season.