Big Brother Joe's Even Bigger News

On Tuesday Daddy woked me up afore school and said come on Joe you need to get dressed, You're going around Nanny and Grandad's they will take you to school. I forted this is weird but I love Nanny and Grandad so I went anyway. Then at dinner time, Daddy didn't come to pick me up, it was Nanny and Grandad again. Hello I forted there is somefink going on. Then at home time daddy was at the school looking really tired and really really really smiley. I forted he was drunk! He said "hello Joe you have a sister called neeeve" except it's not spelled like it sounds coz it's 'Niamh', flippin eck if fings are going to be spelt all wrongly I'm never going to learn stuff. Anyway Daddy gave me a fire engine and went on like Mr chatter box about how he gotted a fire engine when his sister was born. We then wented home yee-har style. That's when Daddy carries me on his shoulder, we ranned (well Dad did I bumped up and down!) all the way home. When I got there, there was loads of people. Nanny and Grandad was there, so was Auntie Tina from where the pumas play (he thinks Argentina is in Desborough...Rich) and some people called middle wifes. I wented up stairs and there was my Mummy and my sister Niamh. They didn't go to hostipal they had Niamh at home, which I fink is scarey, anyway Daddy says the middle wifes was dead good and knewed what they was doing. In the picture Mummy is wearing her Japamas acuzz she is very tired having a baby is very hard work and you have to be very brave. What you can't see is she is wearing old fashioned Canterberry Saints socks, one of the middle wifes had got cold feet and she was also wearing Daddy's lucky Kooga Saints socks. I gaved my sister a kiss and said "aaahhh shes cute" then Mummy gave me a present from Naimh which was Spyro for my playstation. After that I was too busy tring to find crystals and eggs so I didn't see Niamh for three hours! Anyway I'm a big brother now and I love my little sister, if anybody ever hurts her I'm going to chop them in half!

Right mates that's enuff baby stuff. Lets talk about some rugby. Today Saints are playing Barf what Daddy says used to be a very very good team and they used to win all the time. Well that must have been in the olden days when they had record players like on the Flintstones acuzz I can only amember the Saints gersplatterating them even afore Smudger comed to Northampton. It's a big day for Buzz-hard who was asked to go and play for Barf and then they changed their minds. Well that's not fair at all, I fink the people in charge at Barf are very very naugthy. I watched last week on the telly and we got beated up a bit in the forwards but I fink that Barf aren't as big and strong as Ulster so it will be gersmudgeration time down at that wet ground what was built by the Romans.

Dad is stomping up and down. He has just got a letter from the Saints to say if Saints get to the semi final it will be in Oxford and that there is only five fowsand tickets for Saints fans. That's silly. Last year we had the semi finals at Frankly gardens and there was eleven fowsand Saints fans and it was great. Why do they have to keep spoiling fings by putting them in little staydeeums? I fink it's probably all to do with that Lardy Barnes and Dewi Florist and their Sty telly programme. There is six fowsand season ticket holdres which means not even all of them can go. It's stoopid! They have done the same fing for the Yourrupp pea and cup acuzz it's going to be at the Hands down road in Higherland it holds fouteen two fowsand people. Flippin eck I don't fink the peole what organamize these fings have a clue.

I have some more big news when Mummy was still pregnunt she was worried that all this water would come out and spoil the settee so she sat on  towel. Well Daddy never misses an opportunity so she sat on his Saints towel. But every time she gotted up from the settee someone else wented and sat on the towel. Yep you guessed it the beast of Rothwell our very own Tigger. I fink he might be changing sides!!!