Harlequins v Saracens Prem Match Report

“I'm so dizzy, my head is spinning. Like a whirlpool, it never ends. And it's you, Brendan, making it spin. You're making me dizzy”      

If I never hear the term rotation again it will be too little too late. Freshening things up is one thing, going into a local derby with 9 changes from the week before is bordering on reckless.

I have had better Sunday afternoons and by about 3.30pm the thought of writing this match report was distinctly unappealing. Apologies for any errors of personnel etc, but there was absolutely no chance i was watching that back!

First half

Burke took the kick off and we were underway. Much has been made about the number of tries scored in the Prem this season, and it didn’t take long for the first score of the day. A simple pull back ball to Smith allowed him to put Furbank into a gap between Maro and WIlliams. The Quins fullback did well to keep his arms free and offload out of the tackle to Murley. Bracken put himself in no man's land between Murley and the man on his outside which meant AOC had to come across for the cover tackle. He went far too high, leaving Murley with a simple offload back inside to Smith. Conversion slotted, 7-0.

It wasn’t long until the home side had their second. A line out just outside the Saracens 22 was played away quickly and followed up with a number of muscular carries from the Quins pack. They were getting themselves over the gain line with ease and delivering the ball to Porter on a silver platter. Everything about our defence was passive, which was summed up in the final phase leading to the try. Porter shipped the ball to the returning Baxter who proceeded to throw the world’s least convincing dummy. Earl still somehow bit on it however, leaving the Quins loosehead one on one with his opposite man. As Carre struggled to bring him down,  a delightful “chicken wing” offload put the impressive Seb Driscoll in for the score. He seemed to make a point of running directly over Tomos Williams on his way to the line and the smaller man never stood a chance from the range. Smith did the honours from the tee, 14-0 and the signs were ominous.

On 18 minutes Saracens decided it was time to actually throw a punch. A line out 10m out was played away by Michelow. Tompkins did extremely well to avoid the ball hitting him directly in the face and Earl carried into the defensive line. Dan carried well before Carre was knocked backwards in the type of double tackle we had needed minutes before on Baxter. The Welsh number 1 did well to get the ball away to Martin and the ball fell to WIlliams. He threw a lovely ball over the top to find Malins lurking out wide, who tapped the ball down above his head to Segun. A lovely step inside, power through the tackle and he found his way to the line. Burke’s conversion drifted wide, 14-5.

Unfortunately this wasn't the beginning of a turn around in fortunes. Saracens started piling up penalties giving their opponents easy field position. Twice in a row they were penalised at a 5m line out for hitting before the jumper got to ground. Hamish Smales actually warned the Quins line out about not bringing the man directly back down to the ground but the decisions still went against us. Even when we managed to successfully sack the driving maul, due to some rather dodgy looking work from Earl, ill discipline soon found us back on our own 5m line. Our opponents managed to get the maul going forwards and this time Earl’s indiscretion was spotted. Hanging off the back of an opponent's maul, knees on the floor and dragging downwards isn't the easiest thing to hide. Smales went straight under the posts for a penalty try and Earl was asked to leave the field for 10 minutes.

Time for our backline to show what they actually work on in training all week. Some nice hands along the line led to the ball ending up in Segun’s hands. He did wonderfully to grubber past his defender, jump back in from over the touchline and get the ball into AOC’s hands, who then put Malins in for a canter over the line. Game on! Except inexplicably, Malins wandered towards the posts and began to put the ball down with the urgency of my 11 year old niece when she is told it is time to clean her room. Smith came flying in and clattered the Saracens man, knocking the ball loose. Everything that was wrong with this game from our perspective was summed up in that moment.

10 minutes later things went from bad to worse. Isgro chased a kick down the line and got there before the covering Burke. An awkward tackle led to a clash of heads. Just as Earl was returning to the field Burke took his place on the naughty step and a failed HIA meant he wasn’t seen again in the match. Our beloved 6/2 bench split meant there was no fly half replacement on the bench so Malins had to move to 10 for the remaining 45 minutes. The penalty was put into the corner and once again Quins were carrying hard at the Saracens line. A decidedly dubious ball over the top from Furbank went into the waiting arms of Murley who easily brushed aside Malins to go over in the corner. 26-5 and a 4 try bonus point wrapped up before half time.

All was not lost however. A strong rolling maul from a 5m line out was dotted down by Theo Dan with the clock in the red. A decidedly ropey conversion attempt from Malins got nowhere near bisecting the posts and we went into the sheds 26-10 down.

Second half

Surely now it was time to show what we are made of and the Saracens players would come out all guns blazing, looking to right some wrongs. Well no, not exactly. The tone was set right from the restart with half the side letting the ball bounce in between them, nobody willing to put a name on it and take control.

15 minutes into the half and we are going nowhere around the halfway mark. One out carriers are getting stopped on or behind the gain line, the backline can barely move the ball between themselves. Williams tries to make something happen with a wide pass to Segun on the wing. Once again poor execution lets us down with a loopy, slow pass falling at his feet. Segun is unable to claim it and Porter reacts quickest, booting the ball down the sideline. He collects the bouncing ball brilliantly, kneeing it up into his hands. The Quins 9 then steps inside Gonzalez and hands off Hall before scampering away to the line. Once again we have been the architects of our own demise. Poor skill execution, second best to react and going high in the tackle. Conversion successful, 33-10 and this game is done.

With 20 minutes on the clock Tompkins breaks off the back of a disorganised rolling maul and fights his way over the line for our third of the day. Hall misses the kick but it doesn’t really matter, the only thing we are fighting for realistically is a 4 try bonus. For the rest of the game we huff and puff but basic skill errors or isolated ball carriers being turned over bring a halt to each of our attacks and the final score remains 33-15.

Harlequins are more than deserving of the win but my biggest concern is that they didn’t even have to play that well to come away with a 5 point win and leave us with nothing. Cohesion and desire did the job for them.

As for Saracens, I thought the corresponding fixture last season was about as low as I could get. Sunday was even worse with the only personal bright spot being prior plans meant I couldn’t attend in person. We desperately need to bin the rotation policy and 6/2 bench. The back end of last season gave us a blueprint for where this side should be going and the decision to abandon all we had learned is mystifying. There is no cohesion in attack or defence and we are piling up errors upon errors from players trying to make things happen rather than getting the basics right.

A shout out to Itoje, Segun and Tizard who I felt actually looked like they were up for the fight. Newcastle at home next!