Cynically Stolen Copy About the Fat Bloke Sevens
By Andy Brown
July 19 2006
Welcome to the preview page for the CHP International Fat Bloke Sevens 2006. Yes, its that time of year when those of us too stupid to know better trail down to Reading Abbey RFC to do battle with like-minded idiots from all over the country.
This Year's Tournament
This year's pools are as follows:
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Abbey Ruins – Reading Abbey RFC Bruno Nero’s – Bedford supporters Worcester Wobblers – Worcester supporters Basildon Drones – Upper Basildon RFC Crap Hopeless Players – CHP Consulting |
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No Guts No Glory – Havant RFC Drunken Wasps – London Wasps Supporters Fat Cats – East Grinstead RFC Yaks – Northampton Saints Supporters Beaconsfield Beaks – Beaconsfield RFC | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Jasons Leopards – Harlequins supporters Bristol Pasty Eaters – Bristol supporters Leeds Lardies – Leeds Tykes supporters Paicey’s Pot Bellied Pigs – Newbury Barbarians Bath Tubs – Bath supporters |
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Flatulent Fairies – London Irish supporters ‘The Family’ – all members of team are related Camel Jockeys – Camel Jockeys RFC Arabian Knights – Saracens supporters Big Bobs Villagers – East Peckham RFC | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
There will also be a ‘spare team’, the Mercenaries, at the event. This is a pool of players from which any team can borrow should any players in their own squad become ‘tired and emotional’.
Insurance
Although the tournament is designed to be fun, we do get injuries each year. We cannot recommend enough the need for teams / individual players to get insurance cover for the event.
Medical Support
We have fantastic provision on the day provided by Mike Mulroy from the Drunken Wasps crew. Despite us giving Mike’s team a sum of money to cover the costs on the day, we always have a shortfall. I’ve recommended to Mike that he have a bucket near the first aid point that players may want to throw shrapnel into to help cover the costs this year.
Referees
Once again the fabulous lads from Berkshire Referees Society will be providing the bulk of officials for the day. We will welcome any qualified referees who want to take part – please let me know if your team is likely to bring a ref along. Having missed last year we’re hoping Ashley Rowden, a great friend of the tournament, will come along and take on a few games again this year,
BBQ’s and Drinks
Reading Abbey RFC don’t charge us for the use of their facilities. We respectfully ask again that no alcoholic drinks are brought to the tournament and consumed whilst the bar is open. Also, we would ask that no BBQ’s are used during the weekend, including disposable BBQ’s. These have been risk assessed and are a fire hazard as there are a lot of people who have been drinking at the event. Please – no BBQ’s. There is plenty of food available at the event.
Camping
Becoming more and more popular each year. No problems just turning up with your tent however those with very large tents, caravans, motor homes – please let me know in advance that you’re coming and we can leave space for you in a safe (for fire hazard reasons) area on the side of the main camping village. There is also a ‘quiet’ camping area as last year. Free camping is available from Friday 21st Afternoon through ‘til Sunday Noon’ish.
Entertainment
Friday night:
Open mic night so bring your instrument and do your thing – we’re hoping that the Bristol massed choir will be doing at least one Wurzel song. We’ll also have some guest appearances from Martin Walsh and friends, Bob Martins and our old friends Rage Against The Poteen so a great acoustic night is promised.
Saturday night:
Queens of the Dotage, the band surfing the Skiffle revival they’re hoping to start, will play live on Saturday night. I can guarantee you’ll laugh, you might tap your foot, you may well join in the singing and if you’ve had enough beer – you’ll be a Skiffle fan for life. Followed by the now well established Cheesy Disco playing music for old, fat, drunk farts to jiggle about to – and even the blokes can join in.
Laydeees
We will have a mini tournament for ladies teams this year for the 1st time. We have teams from:
Harlequins
Hove
Marlow and
London Irish (The Trumping Tinkerbelles)
The showers will be available exclusively for the Ladies teams from 17:30 – 18:30. Tickets are not available.
Timing
Camping is available from Friday PM. For those who’ve not been before – I can’t recommend it enough. The party on Friday night is great fun, and starts as the bar opens in the evening, and you’ll be there 1st thing on Saturday for the rugby – you’ll have a hangover, but you’ll be there.
Saturday 22nd July:
09:00 Team registration
10:00 1st games begin
15:00 Last of Pool games begin
15:30 Ladies semi-finals
16:00 Cup and Shield semi-finals
16:30 Plate (the ‘Arse’) semi finals
17:00 Ladies Final
17:30 Cup Final
18:00 Shield Final
18:30 Plate (the ‘Arse’) Final
19:00 Presentations – we’re hoping Leroy Angle will return again to do the honours
20:00 The Musical Entertainment