ARU CHIEF AT CENTRE OF POMMIE-BASHING ROW
St.George's Day 23/4
By AFPAsoc., 1/4/04
April 7 2004
The future of the Australian Rugby Union's Chief Executive, John O'Neill, is under threat, after details emerged of a blistering attack he made on English rugby, at a business lunch in Darwin.
ARU CHIEF AT CENTRE OF POMMIE-BASHING ROW
The future of the Australian Rugby Union's Chief Executive,
John O'Neill, is under threat, after details emerged of a blistering attack he
made on English rugby, at a business lunch in Darwin.
O'Neill was unaware that a journalist was among those
attending what he thought was a private function. Details of what he said first
appeared in the local paper the following day.
He began his speech by outlining his plans for the future
development of the game within Australia. He stressed the importance of
bringing it to the more remote outposts, like the Northern Territory capital.
He announced plans for the city to stage an international against one of the
South Pacific nations.
He then began to give his vision for the game at large, with a
number of radical proposals. First, he called for teams to be reduced to 13
players. "They're bigger, they're fitter, they're faster. The only
alternative is to make the pitch bigger, and that's not a bloody option".
The call to reduce the value of drop goals and penalties was
well received, but a suggestion that all kicking from hand should be banned
met a cooler reception. Then the ideas began to pour out - cutting the lineout
to one man from each side, and scrummages to three per side.
His next target was the tackle situation. He called for the
introduction of the Rugby League play-the-ball, to replace rucks and
mauls "Too bloody messy". It was when he began to elaborate on the
rolling maul that O'Neill adopted the controversial tone which now threatens
his job.
At first mention of 'truck and trailer', he paused, before
saying - to the obvious amusement of his audience - "Don't you just
hate the Poms?".
After the usual, predictable references
to "Boring old England", he began to get more personal. He made a
series of allegations about the sexual habits of England coach Sir Clive
Woodward. These were followed by a string of obscene jokes about
England's flyhalf Jonny Wilkinson and a number of unflattering remarks about
England's retired captain, Martin Johnson. By now, his audience had been
stunned to silence.
O'Neill seemed to realise that things had gone too far, and he
reverted to his original theme, before bringing his speech to a hasty
conclusion. The damage had been done, and he received only faint applause.
As news of the speech began to emerge, the ARU acted
quickly to repair the damage, issuing the disclaimer that Mr. O'Neill was
speaking as a private individual, and that the views expressed were not
necessarily those of the ARU.
Some leading Australian rugby figures have now sprung to
O'Neill's defence. Former Wallaby number 8 Toutai Kefu, now playing in Japan,
said: "Good on you, Johnno! Spot on. The bloody Poms have always been
insufferable. Since they won the World Cup, they've been even worse."
Longtime scourge of the English, David Campese, was quick to
enter the debate. "I've never had any time for them. Little place, little
people."
He then gave his backing to O'Neill's plans for the game's
future. "The game's got to change. Any game that allows the most boring
team ever to become world champions has big problems. Thank God the French
have just stuffed them. I wouldn't pay to watch England, even if I was
English."
The ARU have since been forced to admit that a working party
was set up, immediately after November's World Cup Final, with the aim of
making the game more 'attractive'. It would neither confirm nor deny whether
its proposals so far matched those of Mr. O'Neill, but did concede that they
"may be thinking along those lines."
O'Neill himself was last seen at Sydney Airport, boarding a
flight for Europe. He's believed to be taking a ski-ing holiday, in the
Alpine resort of Narrendorf.
One close friend, who did not wish to be named, said:
"He
knew what he was doing. He's nobody's fool."
If his words prove to cost him his high profile, well-paid job,
he could yet be seen to be everybody's fool.
APRIL FOOL J !!!!