London Irish supporters ‘Top of evolutionary tree’
Evoloution
By Eek the Weeble
October 1 2002
Recent palaeontology research has unearthed evidence that London Irish supporters are higher up the evolutionary scale than fans from other premiership clubs
Following
the recent discoveries, in the East Midlands area of England, of evidence of ‘Leicesterthall
Man’ still playing rugby in the region, scientists have been able to piece
together the evolution of ‘Homo Rugby Supportus’, the modern rugby
fan.
By carefully studying the behaviour of these
primates, it is now believed that with the missing evidence found on the pitch
at Leicester, the full evolutionary path can be followed.
Original anthropological studies indicated that
‘Glaws Man’ might have been the first ape like supporter. Recent
sightings of ‘Quinthralopithicus’ have, however, confounded this
theory. The garish leg coverings are considered by all observers to be signs of
pre-historic fashion sense and go a long way to changing the doubters minds.
“When I first saw Graham Rowntree play I
couldn’t believe my eyes” said Professor Helmut Purpool at today’s press
conference. “Here was an outstanding player, ‘not just a pretty face’ I
thought, and yet, despite his ‘Leicesterthall Man’ status, he was so
obviously a key anthropological specimen in the ‘Quinthralopithicus’
debate”.
Dr DeRecords, from Amsterdam University agreed
with the Professor. “ I have been studying the advanced group of ‘Craic-head
Man’, found in the Thames Valley, and one can see the obvious signs of
evolutionary development. Not only have this group developed luxuriant green
hair but also sport green feathered boas, obviously trophies from hunting trips,
to display during the mating season. Their social gatherings, including the
consumption of a magical black liquid, the singing of ancient songs and the
rhythmic movements to repetitive beats on basic percussive instruments show that
this is where the roots of civilisation as we know it began”.
Graham Rowntree was unavailable for comment.