Exclusive - a leak from the Rugby Club planning session

By SKY Spy
October 25 2010

This appeared anoymously in the editors inbox today. It puports to come from "someone close to real club rugby". We're certain it was not fro Dr V, Shaun Edwards or Stuart Barnes, so it must be genuine.

Scene:

Production meeting for Rugby Club – Monday 25^th October.

Attendees

Executive Producer – Script consultant – S Barnes – W Greenwood – Cardboard cut-out of D Morris

EP:

Well as you know we are taking a real caning from ESPN in viewing figures for club rugby, so we need to..

SB (interrupts)

Yes, Yes – but it is clear that our future lies in the Heineken and Magner league. We have a far less discerning viewing cohort there, and the coverage is much more in line with our corporate ambitions.

But we do have a contract to cover the Aviva..

SB (interrupts) Oh yes we can pay lip service to that – we’ll only talk about how the play affects the EPS members and prospects for the HC. That way we can concentrate on the big ones – Leicester, Bath and Wasps, with the occasional puff for Munster- they do a mean hospitality for us when we go there. And they are sooo good.

Cutout of DM falls over

SC (Picks up cut out)– well we have a show for Thursday – what shall we include?

WG well – in the review we should say something about the Wasps v Saints match

SB Yes – how Flutey was injured and what a huge blow it is for Martin, and how Tim Payne stood up manfully against a strong pack. Worsley could also be a pick, and Myler missed a couple again. We must talk about no success without a really reliable kicker.

Yes – but Wasps were completely stuffed, we have to ask about their future

SB They’ve got a good kicker – they’ll be fine.

We should also talk about the delicious game between Leicester and Bath. A true feast of good rugby, played between two teams with really reliable kickers.

(DM cutout falls over again)

WG – We’re showing Leicester Gloucester on Saturday what will be our take on that?

SB Well I’ll be rooting for Leicester, as the hospitality at Kingsholme is not a patch on Weford road. We should concebtrate on the Tigers Pack and how they and Bath will drive all before them this year because they’ve got reliable kickers.

EP (Picks up cutout) – Well I think we should broaden our coverage a little.

SB Yes – we’ve got the New Zealand semis..

WG – (interrupts) but our viewers...

SB (interrupts) will think what I tell them to. I am the voice of Rugby, so they believe what I tell them to believe.

DM (cutout falls over again and the head falls off)

EP – Well if you think that..

SB I do – and without me there is no Rugby club.

WG – (heads for the door, walking over cutout) – aside to EP – what’s that ESPN number you had in the bar last night?

EP – I’ll come with you

SB So that’s it then – same old same old, Leicester, Bath, Wasps, and Northampton will win nothing till they get a reliable No 10. – shall we invite Shaun Edwards on?. (Realises he is talking to an empty room – opens a bottle of Chateau Rothschild and pours a large glass) – Yes Shaun Edwards and Dr Venter – that’ll make for a really interesting programme.

Exclusive - a leak from the Rugby Club planning session

Posted by: ComeOnYouSaints.com (IP Logged)

Date: 25/10/2010 16:22

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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2010:10:25:16:24:23 by St Marlowe.