Glosser, Falling Down and the Powerdoom Cup

By Mighty Young Joe
April 26 2002

Hiya cup final mates! Oh Brother and all that, I am very very very excited. In fact I'm a lot more than excited, I'm zedcited. I'm more zedcited than Scooby for a Scooby snack or Billyboy for a pint. The Powderoom Monsters Inc cup is on Saturday. COME ON YOU SAINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

This week in the papers Smudger has been saying, don't get big headed acuzz them Irish lot will gersplatterate us for being big heads. But that aint never going to happen, Twick and Ham will become Smudgeration city on Saturday. Did I say it yet? COOOOMMMMMEEEEE OOOONNNNNNN YOOOOOUUUUUUUU SSSAAAAAIIINNNNTTTTTSSSSSS

What about them tractor boys on Saturday? They was pants and so grumpy. Saints was being naughty but them Glosser players was being silly acuzz instead of ignoring stuff they weacted and the referee had to tell them off.

That Allakazam got sented to the sin bin for pushing Archie Brooks. What a big bully! He tried to get away with it by saying sorry in a funny accent to the ref, silly man. That doesn't work with my Mummy so it won't work in Rugby. Then some silly billy from Iterlee couldn't tackle Matty Daws so he kicked him over. No-one likes cheaters Glosser so be nice next time.

There was loads of tractor supporters, called shed heads. I feel sorry for them acuzz they tried very very hard to make their team play well, but they was let down badly.

Well if the tractors was pants, then Saints was brilliant! 58-21 is a ginourmous score. Total Smudgerby and if they just practice catching and stop rushing they will Smudgerate every single team that they ever play.

Peter Yoghurtson was my bestest player, he was fantastic and brilliant. When he first came to the club he was pants and now I love him. The Gordian Terrace should start singing that song what my mate WMS wroted. It goes:
"Waltzing a Jorgy, Waltzing a Jorgy, Who'll come a Waltzing a Jorgy wiv me? And they danced and they danced coz Frankly Gardens loves their Ozzie boy, Who'll come a Waltzing a Jorgy wiv me."

I hearded the Gordians in noisy old C secshun singing for Wally and he deserved it. He ran very fast, pushed lots of massive Glosser players over and he threw the ball to big JP and Bruiser who were also dead good. Matty Daws and all the backs ranned rings around them all afternoon.

The biggest news of the day was Saints new mascot, Charro the real St.Bernie dog, I hope him and Bernie are going to be friends! But did you see Charro? He was ginormomassively huge, it can't be a dog really.

I fink you growed ups have got it wrong acuzz that looked more like a horse or a Monster. Ah-hah I get it they don't have Rugby in Monsterland so Charro is uttending to be a dog so he can watch the games!!! Clever Monster! Well I like him. Come on You Monsters what support the Saints.

Enough of all this it's time to fink Twick and Ham. I'm not going acuzz two hours on a coach wiv no cartoons and a load of Kingsthorpe boys drinking too much falling down juice isn't my cup of coffee. Then of course when you growed ups get there you will all drink loads more falling down juice and have to keep going to the toliet.

By kick off none of you will be in a fit state to look after a four year old. Then when the game is over you will all have some more falling down juice and more than likely fall down! I will watch it on the telly and wait till I am older to come to Twick and Ham. That way I can get back to Scooby Doo when the Saints have won!

But you lot must drink loads of falling down juice because after you have fell down you get louded up! You all need to be properly louded by kick off and sing, sing, sing. Sing so hard that Twick and Ham needs to get the menders in after the cup final. You must be as loud as Captain Caveman. If you don't know all the songs then I'm sure Chris and my Daddy will do a song list this week!!! (Will we???…..Ed)

Lastly on Saturday this is very important. Have fun!!!!!! Irish are our friends so everyone be nice and have a good larf and get ready for a great big party. Wave to me watching on the telly.

COME ON YOU SAINTS. Lets have some more Smudgerby!!!
Joe aged 4 and 7 months.