Mavis foregos the scullery to talk rugby!

By Mavis Haddon
April 26 2002

Ello m'ducks. Air Bert 'as cleared orf dain the Jimmies club an' left me to do is intranet doins on this bobby dazzler of a machine of air gransons while really I shud be cleaning air scullery. Lazy larrikin Bert, oil chase im araind air kitchen wi the copper stick when ee gets ome.

I said to im I said, "Bert if you goo dain Jimmies club getting all larruped wi your silly mates, you'll cop it!" I said. An ee said "will I now" ee said an I said yes I said! E were still cumplayning as he were orf dain air parth, the darft old codgel!

Any road up ee said ee ad to goo down Jimmies club on account of disscussin plans fer Satdee! I told im I said "dunt make no plans fer Satdee we're gooing raind yer sisters fer tea" I said. "What" ee said! "Oim gooing dain Jimmies club to watch the Saints win the cup" ee said. "What's more" ee said "afor that oive got to do an intranet doins fer that come on yew saints dot com doins." Ee said. Dunt be darft" I said " them intranets fur the youngsters like air Pauls lads" Well he huffed and he puffed and said "Well you can bloomin dooit then if yur such an high tea eggsbert" and orf ee stormed dain the club. said. So I said to meself "roight Bert yer great dollop o'yewsluss puddin. Oil show yer" I said.

So this is what Oim learnt abait them Saints dain the years.

First a game dunt larst an our n'arf loike it's sposed to. No a Saints game starts on abait a Monday moorning when all the sorft old bouys start nattering bait them loike washerwomen an' larst til the edaches frum too much larrup guzz orf on a Sunday noight.

So the ohnee bit what larst fer an our n'arf is the bit where yew lot stops nattering abait larst weeks game an starts natterin abait this weeks. Darft as brushes the lot o'yer but it's abait toime them Saints started winning every week. In the good ole days yer didn't need to look in the pink un fer scores cuzz they just won an that wuz that. There weren't no games when they lorst to upstarts loike Barf!

Any road enuff o' this blatherin Oim orf dain the bingo the scullery can wayt till old buggerlugs Bert gets raind tuit. I said to air Olive I said "if ee's orf dain the Jimmies club oim gunna goo dain the Beacon bingo" I said. An blow me if I dunt.

Tata m'ducks
Mavis